Psynyde
Posted 11/27/2007 12:58:33 AM
What's brown and hides in the attic?
The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.
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eps_300
Posted 11/27/2007 12:42:51 PM
This is better
dreath2623
Posted 11/26/2007 2:41:08 PM
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a *****."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a *****?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a *****."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a *****."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a *****."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a *****."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A *****!!!"
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C_n_C_Babe
Posted 11/27/2007 2:02:53 PM
What do you get when you cross an idiot with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
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C_n_C_Babe
Posted 11/27/2007 2:04:40 PM
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.
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C_n_C_Babe
Posted 11/27/2007 2:06:01 PM
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
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xx_Blaze_Up_xx
Posted 11/27/2007 2:07:16 PM
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 30 natives?
A bartender,
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C_n_C_Babe
Posted 11/27/2007 2:11:09 PM
What did the white guy see when looking at his family tree?
A straight line.
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C_n_C_Babe
Posted 11/27/2007 2:13:13 PM
Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?
Society.
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Iblis_Nevermore
Posted 11/27/2007 2:19:38 PM
"What do you call a bunch of black guys riding in the back of a pick up truck?
Old farm equipment."
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Psynyde
Posted 11/27/2007 4:18:16 PM
So President Bush and Condi Rice are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Is that Bush and Condi sitting over there?" Bartender says, "Yep, that's them.
Guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WWIII." Guy asks, "Really? What's it going to be like?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Iraqis and a blonde with big ***s."
Guy says, "Why a blonde with big ***s, though?"
Bush turns to Condi and says; "See? I told you nobody would worry about the Iraqis!"
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zhukov1943
Posted 11/27/2007 4:19:58 PM
What's the worst part about being a child molester?
Getting the bloodstains off the crotch of your clown outfit.
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umbrella merc
Posted 11/27/2007 4:24:21 PM
What happens when Al Gore starts to rap?
he busts out some mad Algorythyms
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Psynyde
Posted 11/27/2007 4:29:05 PM
Woman walks into a store and buys the following:
1 box of detergent
A dozen eggs
Bar of soap
1 stick woman's deodorant
She then goes to the checkout line.
The clerk says to her, "Oh, you must be single."
Woman says, "You can tell by what I bought?"
Clerk says, "No, because you're ****ing ugly."
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Psynyde
Posted 11/27/2007 4:30:27 PM
A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.
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Omegadramon
Posted 11/27/2007 4:35:06 PM
What do you know that is long and black?
--The welfare line
Why do black people have nightmares instead of dreams?
--The only one that had a dream is dead
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Storm Shadow
Posted 11/27/2007 4:56:55 PM
I have a couple of bad jokes to share:
Guy: "Hey, what's green and has wheels?"
Girl: "I don't know. What?"
Guy: "Grass. I was lying about the wheels."
Girl: "Hey, did you hear what the Queen said to the bartender?"
Guy: "No. What did she say?"
Girl: "Oh, you weren't there either?"
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therin lews kinslaya
Posted 11/27/2007 6:19:06 PM
A rope wanders into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The rope goes outside and twists himself into a knot and messes up his hair. The rope enters the bar again and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Didn't I just tell you we don't serve to ropes here?" The rope replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Horrible, I know. v_v
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Triad
Posted 11/27/2007 6:25:36 PM
Recently I was reading the news and I read this story about a guy who was filling up his gas tank on his way to dropping his kids off at school and he realized that he was running late so he quickly pulled the hose out and accidentally sprayed his arm with some gas. On the way to school he lights up a cigarette forgetting that his arm had gasoline on it. His arm ignites and he pulls over frantically, noticing some police on the side of the road he gets out of his car and tries to wave them over. They shoot and kill the man. The reason stated was because he was waving a firearm.
lol so bad I know.
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addicted_gamer9
Posted 11/27/2007 6:42:25 PM
What do you call 20 Mexicans standing around doing nothing?
Home Depot.
How do you stop a Mexican tank?
Shoot the guys pushing it
OR
Light the cardboard on fire
Why do black people have lighter colored hands?
Because they're always on top of police cars.
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Magyar15
Posted 11/27/2007 7:13:53 PM
What do you call two Mexicans riding a bicycle?
organized crime
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johnsonalec41
Posted 11/27/2007 7:33:22 PM
What did the blind deaf mute kid get for Christmas?
CANCER
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Magyar15
Posted 11/27/2007 7:43:07 PM
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was arrarrguguhreh
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WelfareHigh
Posted 11/27/2007 7:58:40 PM
How do you get away with molesting Helen Keller?
Cut off her hands so she can't tell her mom...
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bearstronaut
Posted 11/27/2007 8:12:00 PM
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman.
Ku Klux Knievel tried to jump three black guys in a steam roller.
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Major_Death
Posted 11/27/2007 8:15:34 PM
Republican Beliefs
Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's drunk driving record and cocaine arrest are none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.
You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
Clinton's business interests in the 1970s in which he lost money are of vital national interest, but Bush's activities in the 1980s in which he made money under questionable circumstances is unimportant.
Not mine but I think it's funny.
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